What I’m Saying No To Now
I’ve spent a lot of time and energy working to regulate my nervous system. After years of everyday stress, undiagnosed anxiety, and toxic productivity—followed by the loss of my husband and then the pandemic—I found myself in a constant state of activation.
I was easily startled, couldn’t relax, had trouble sleeping. I worried about everything—ruminating, spiraling, panicking, doubting, questioning, judging. I had trouble concentrating and remembering, couldn’t focus, and almost never felt present. I just wanted to get through the day, cross things off my list, survive it, and call it done.
I started to become more intentional about the things that overwhelmed me or made me feel uneasy—what shows and movies I watched, the types of books I read, which podcasts and news I consumed, who I surrounded myself with, the way I spoke to myself, and what I committed to.
I began to recognize which situations made me feel anxious and gave myself grace around them—wearing AirPods while shopping at Costco, avoiding Target on weekends, allowing extra drive time in case of traffic, spreading tasks out throughout the week, and asking for time to think before making decisions.
I started to say no.
I know what you’re thinking. That sounds rude, selfish, awkward, icky, harsh…cringe.
I’m not going to lie—it wasn’t easy at first. As a recovering people-pleaser, I still care what people think, how they feel, and what their reactions might be.
But I also care about me.
And over time, with practice, it gets easier. It doesn’t have to be mean, bold, or loud. And saying no can mean more than just declining invitations—it can mean saying no to what no longer serves you.
What I’m Saying No to Now—
Rushing
Making split-second decisions
Negative self-talk
Staying up late to scroll
Unrealistic expectations
Stacking too many to-dos, appointments, or Zoom calls
Trying to predict the future
Doing things out of obligation
Anything with the word “should”
Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions
If you could use support around saying no—or anything else—I’m here for you. I offer free consultation calls to chat more about working together. I’d love to meet you.